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Hi sweetie, how are you? Oh, well I'm just feeling a bit upset... I was all set to go out on a date tonight and the guy just stood me up... again. This is the 4th date this month that the guy bailed on. I just don't understand... I mean, they are all ready to go then they just bail.
I'm pretty sure I know why.... oh honey, I don't think I should be talking to you about this. You probably shouldn't be worrying about mommy's dating issues... but, if you really want to know, I guess it would be ok for me to talk about it.
See.... mommy has a very unusual thing she likes to do on her dates and I think that is why I keep getting stood up. Well... the truth is, mommy.... ummm.... mommy likes to fart... in a man's face! I know it sounds odd but I am really in to it... that's my thing! I am certain that is why I am not finding any dates.
Oh my sweet boy! I would love to go on a "date" with you but I'm not sure I can fart in your face! You are my son!
Well.... are you sure you wouldn't mind? I mean, I probably wouldn't even be entertaining this idea but... mommy is just SO desperate! It's been years and I just need to so bad.
So... are you sure? You won't mind doing it for me?
Awesome! I feel one coming right now so come over here and get down there! This is going to be the best night ever! Thank you so much sweetie!!
